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  • pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    Weekly update

    Monday, it’s time for an update!

    The Mindset

    Improvement is certainly not something smooth and straight, and I had that experience the past few days. In the middle of last week, it almost felt like my poor mindset was back, the meditation didn’t go so well and I felt a bit unmotivated. But I knew it’s part of the process so keep it up! The good thing about this type of moments is to keep in mind that the journey is still long and also to look at the big picture, recognizing that the mindset “downswing” of last week was still way better than my mindset a few months ago, so I guess it’s a great sign. And now I’m really back on track, no worries!

    The Study

    I stick to my plans, and I actually even go a bit further now, without even pushing myself, I’m very happy with that. Most importantly is to continuously study all the marked hands which I do. Posting hands also works great and the feedbacks are awesome and help a lot. This community is definitely special. I really try to give back as much as I can but it’s still tough for a noob like me.

    Anyway, two important points about study this week. First, I’ve put a lot of emphasize on PKO because I like them a lot and I found out I really suck at them. I’m playing way too tight in a lot of spots. I’m happy to find such big flaws in my game, it’s going to make a big difference hopefully. And I really like to study those spots, the mathematical approach is very interesting. As a happy consequence, I shipped the Bounty Hunters $10.50 on GG Poker this week-end for $170ish, not a huge one but still feels very good, even more because I almost didn’t register it.

    Second, I checked a bit my overall stats on pokerstars, and I have a decent EVbb/100, which is good, meaning that my decisions are not so bad at the end. The actual bb/100 is lower but who cares, it’s better to have a positive EV and run not so good for some time because it will turn around. And also, it might partly explain why my BR is getting consistently smaller on stars this year. I’ll post more about this in the days to come.

    The Grind

    Thursday to Sunday, I played long sessions every evening and I realized on Sunday afternoon that I was completely burned out. Really tired, not so motivated, not so focused. I decided to play a shorter session and spent the night with my girlfriend instead. It was nice, but interesting lesson though, I can’t work 40+ hours in the week + play/study another 40+ hours and be on top of my game on Sunday.

    Anyway, at the end, again a great week. Can’t wait to see what the next one brings!

    Cheers, and good luck everyone!

    pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    The quote of the day :

    “If we are only interested in results, we defeat the purpose.

    The process is the purpose.”

    pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    Alright, as mentioned in my last update, I want to talk a little bit about results. Hopefully it will add some perspective to my game, and my journey. So let’s take a look.

    The Results

    I play on several sites, but 90% of my volume is on pokerstars and second is GGPoker. So I’ll focus on these, the others are really insignificant.

    Here are the profit/loss graphs for the two sites. One comment : on pokerstars, I don’t consider anything before joining RYE because before I was just playing around and clicking buttons (not that I do anything else now, but at least I’m trying harder).

    Pokerstars

    I had great runs right at the beginning of my RYE journey, and then the rollercoaster began. After 3k MTTs, I’m about breakeven, even more when considering that one of my most significant win was in a NLO8 MTT which I played by mistake (learning the game on Google at the same time, was fun though!), so it’s a win but not a NLHE win.

    What else to say? Rough last few hundreds MTTs, about 70-80 BIs downswing, but it’s part of the game, and the positive thing is that I’m so happy with the change of mindset recently. Honestly I basically cruise through this downswing without much problem. Meditation was the key! Yes, of course, results on GG Poker obviously help and I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle that easily if it continues for the whole year. But so far, I’m still considering that a great achievement in terms of mindset! Now if I could turn the results around, it would be another welcome achievement hahah!

    Bottom line is, I’m not really winning yet, at least in this sample, but on the good side, I’m covering rack which is already something, meaning I’m still better than many players. Oh God, that’s really bullshit, we don’t care about that! I just want to be on top, nothing more, nothing less! So bottom line is: there’s still a fuckton of work to do!

    GG Poker

    On GGPoker, things are going pretty good and I must admit I really feel I have an edge on this site, which is of course less the case on Pokerstars. I strongly believe that this site is very soft in general. Well… not so much else to say I guess?

    Now one last thing I want to share: the bb/100. I don’t know whether that makes sense or not, and Bencb would certainly advice against it. But hey man, that’s my blog ;) !

    No seriously, I just want you to show the full picture and also put things a bit in perspective with this discussion on bb/100. So here it is on stars since the beginning of my RYE journey (so since middle of the profit/loss graph of Pokerstars) :

    I would consider my overall bb/100 decent, I would even say I’m almost proud of it (oh ! maybe that’s why I want to share it? To balance my shitty profit/loss graph of Pokerstars? So maybe that’s my ego speaking? Well… yes.). Of course, still a lot of work to do and things to learn, but the graph seem pretty solid.

    However, the most interesting thing here I think is to note the difference between the bb graph and the profit/loss graph. Look how uncorrelated they are! So, OK, I’ll admit it. Bencb, if you read this, you are right, bb/100 is not so interesting.

    The question I’ve been asking myself however is : why this difference? I mean, I’m winning chips! My answer : maybe I’m still making a ton of mistakes in terms of ICM, maybe the sample is still too small to show that I’m actually winning, the variance of MTT is much bigger I presume. But at the end, it doesn’t really matter, I’ll continue to put in the work and try my best!

    As always, if you have any feedback, feel free to share, I’ll be more than happy to read them!

    pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    Weekly update

    Hey everyone, it’s Monday, it’s time for the weekly update!

    The Mindset

    The meditation is going great. It’s now part of my morning routine, and I wouldn’t let it go: breakfast+reading, meditation for 20 minutes, and then off to work (yes, somewhere in between I take a shower and put clothes on). I arrive at work a bit later, but I don’t mind.

    At the tables, I said in my last post “I basically cruise through this downswing without much problem.”. Well, yesterday, I was thinking about that and told myself that I was not quite there yet. But still, in general, I handle the rough sessions pretty well, although it still hurts a lot (aww my God, A LOT). But hey, who said it wouldn’t?

    The Study / Grind

    Not much to say, I was really busy last week as my girlfriend was sick, I had to bring her to the hospital twice so Thursday/Friday were off, Saturday I played live with friends, I was the bubble boy on the tournament but it was fun. Funny thing is, I lost the final hand on the river and right after, the guy next to me felt the urge to tell me about all his bad beat stories, and I was like, seriously, that’s crazy, there’s really absolutely nothing less interesting then bad beat stories.

    Anyway, yesterday was basically the only session. Nothing incredible to report. I’m still puzzled and think a lot about this EVbb/100 and what I wrote in my last post.

    In terms of study, I went through a few videos, but failed at posting hands. I’ll catch up this week!

    That’s it for now and remember, if you got the cash and the guts there’s always a seat open at the big game.

    Cheers guys!

    pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    Weekly update

    Hey everyone, time for the update!

    We are two months into 2019 and I think it’s time to see what I’ve accomplished so far and what comes next. Right now I’m doubting about lots of things that are poker-related so I guess it’s a perfect timing to see the big picture.

    The Mindset

    First, the good news! All my non-poker objectives were related to mindset (meditation, less social media/TV, more reading). I sticked to them and it worked very well (I could have been better with social media though). There has been a big transformation in my mindset and I understood many things about myself.

    Meditation has become a very important part of my day and I won’t let it go anytime soon.

    In 2019, not a single smashed keyboard or mouse, punched wall or flying items through the room. It might sound so stupid for you guys, and it objectively is, but it’s actually a big victory for me. I’ll take it!

    The Study

    I’ve put in the work, but I still lack structure. I’m going through videos, reviewing and posting hands, but I never really know what I’m going to study before starting the study session. There’s so much to go through.

    Writing this, I think I’ll create a planning for my weeks, with specific subjects for each week and videos I want to go through. That sounds like a good idea.

    The Grind – The Doubts

    This is the tough part.

    I’ve just realised that the volume I put in is really small. Somewhere between 400 and 500 MTTs since January 1st, including a fair amount of hyper satellites. That won’t bring me anywhere, really. So I have to change something.

    The obvious choice would be to put more hours in, and that would mean leaving one of my jobs. I would love to do that, but future legislation in Switzerland is unclear. In July, there will certainly be big changes due to a recent referendum. Since I’d be free of my obligations in June only, I don’t see the point and I’ll wait to see what comes out of it. Assuming we can’t play in Switzerland anymore, and that’s the most likely outcome, I’ll think about moving somewhere else, certainly in England, and give it a real and fair shot. But then of course, it would bring other problems and it’s no easy decision to take anyway.

    Until then, I’m thinking about increasing the volume through 6max Hyper. I find them very interesting, fun to play and fun to study. And of course, knowledge of short stack and ICM is also very important in MTTs anyway. And final advantage, even when I have limited time, I can go for a short session.

    The Community

    Final objective I’ve set at the beginning of this blog was to be more active both on discord and on this forum. I’m happy with my current implication, although I really want to do more. I’m always trying to bring as much value as possible and when doing so, you always get so much in return, that’s really great. It’s a win for everyone.

    Cheers and good luck for this month everyone!

    rye_mariano5
    Moderator
    Post count: 1942

    Great idea with becoming more active in the discord. I would try to set specific goals relating to this as well though. So for example, post 3 hands a week….This will help keep you accountable

    good luck this month!

    pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    Great idea with becoming more active in the discord. I would try to set specific goals relating to this as well though. So for example, post 3 hands a week….This will help keep you accountable

    good luck this month!

    Thanks for your feedback, and I fully agree with you. Right now, my goal is to share at least 2 hands per week, either with someone in private, or on the forum or on discord. But I want to do more of course, and I’m sure I can!

    However, I’m also trying to bring value to people, by replying to others’ questions as well. I don’t want it to be one way, and that’s mostly what I mean by being more active. Obviously it’s still hard for me especially on some hands analysis that are out of my reach but still, as I realized, there’s always some value to bring in one way or another.

    Cheers and good luck!

    aka_nosebud
    Participant
    Post count: 30

    Hey pendul7,

    dont you care about what we think about your mindset goals.

    Everyone of us has his weaknesses and if you stopped to crush keyboards and mouses this is big for you.

    When I am lurking in the forum I see a lot of posts from you where you analyze hands, I wih I would bring in that much effort.

    Keep up the good work bro.

     

    pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    Hey pendul7,

    dont you care about what we think about your mindset goals.

    Everyone of us has his weaknesses and if you stopped to crush keyboards and mouses this is big for you.

    When I am lurking in the forum I see a lot of posts from you where you analyze hands, I wih I would bring in that much effort.

    Keep up the good work bro.

    Hey mate, thanks a lot, that’s really nice of you to say. Yes, it’s big for me, but it sounds so much like a spoiled kid going through a big crisis because of some toy he didn’t get (and I was certainly not raised like this). So I feel very uncomfortable to share this, because it’s one of if not the worst/darkest part of my personality. But at the same time I have to face and recognize it truly if I want to get rid of it for good.

    As for the posts, it’s not much an effort really, as I always find it interesting to analyse many spots and whenever I can help, I do my best. I really find it fulfilling as well.

    Cheers and good luck!

    pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    I read RYE articles about mindset and one sentence stroke me (two actually). I want to share it here to keep it somewhere :

    “No matter how hard you work, study, persevere, success is not a guaranteed result. You are merely increasing the chances to become successful or to achieve your goals.”

    It helps a lot put things into perspective I think, because when things are not going your way, the first thing is often to reevaluate what you do. Whereas it’s often good, and never bad to question yourself, it doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong! Work your ass off and show what you can do on the battlefield every day, no matter what, until it pays off!

    pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    Small update

    I thought I’d make a small update to keep a bit track of things. The blog is not just only about telling great stories when everything’s working fine and I must admin it’s been rough lately. I read part of my blog just to see how’s been my mindset recently. It’s been improving tremendously and I must admit that it’s certainly the reason why I didn’t take a break from poker and I keep grinding as hard as I can.

    I know very well it’s part of the process, I know variance can be brutal, even over hundreds of MTTs. But damn, it still feels bad. And the biggest problem is that I really start to question myself and my entire game, because I think “well I can’t be on the wrong side of variance forever, there must be another reason”. At the same time, it’s been a downswing of “just” 400-500ish MTTs so rather small. Still, that’s my biggest challenge, to doubt myself and my capabilities. But hey that’s the same for everyone and I guess it’s good to question yourself to some extent to be able to improve. Anyway I definitely must be even more active and post more hands to challenge my game. I also think about getting a coach to make a general review of my game and maybe find some leaks. I’ll thought about it and we’ll see.

    Additionally, I think it’s even harder because I really dedicate more time into poker now. And it’s easier to fail when you don’t really put much effort into it (“yeah, you know, I could be winning if I really wanted to”). Anyway, I’ve been focusing on my BR way too much laterly, I should stop (I really mean BR, not BRM). At the same time, I knew it would be hard, I just have to keep fighting. And moreover, I should be grateful, going through rough times are the only way to grow, as a poker player, but also as an individual.

    Feels good to write this down.

    Let’s crush.

    happygaylucky
    Participant
    Post count: 29

    Hey really nice blog. It’s cool that you update very often.

     

    Something that people don’t normally talk about is how long it is likely going to take someone to learn to play from micros to high stakes. How long do you think it will take you to reach a point where you profitably play high stakes?

    The reason I bring it up is because its something that helps me keep my chin up during the downswings. When I started, I set myself up with a somewhat arbitrary goal of dedicating myself for 10000 hours of poker study/playing which would take approximately 3-4 years. When I was going through these tough swings, full of self-doubt and misery, I always reminded myself of is how insanely long I still had left to go if I was to follow my 3-4 year plan.

     

    Either way, you seem to be doing really well so far. Keep it up and good luck!

    rye_mariano5
    Moderator
    Post count: 1942

    Additionally, I think it’s even harder because I really dedicate more time into poker now. And it’s easier to fail when you don’t really put much effort into it (“yeah, you know, I could be winning if I really wanted to”). Anyway, I’ve been focusing on my BR way too much laterly, I should stop (I really mean BR, not BRM). At the same time, I knew it would be hard, I just have to keep fighting. And moreover, I should be grateful, going through rough times are the only way to grow, as a poker player, but also as an individual. Feels good to write this down. Let’s crush.

    Great attitude man! Always focus on the process as you said in a recent post. Easier said than done, but steady improvements will gain you edges in the long run. I think the toughest part can be seeing players around doing well when you’re in a big downer and wondering what they’re doing differently or if they’re running good or what. But in reality I think a huge difference maker long term can be how well you’re able to play during the tough runs, and whether you’re prepared to try to persevere and keep working hard off the tables at the same time. Because there are just so many players who won’t be doing this, and during their tough times they can get decimated. But we often don’t see that because it’s natural for people to hide it or not be honest about their quality of play during those times. It can really hard to not focus on these externalities. I know I struggle with it at times at least, knowing it’s pointless. But having the process in sight is what will keep us focused on what we can do. It’s a crazy game like that as you know…..

    good luck with the rest of the month

    pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    Hey guys, thanks a lot for your messages, I really appreciate!

    I know it’s a long process taking years, and a couple of months is nothing compared to the whole picture. Writing things down definitely helped a lot though, it breaks this never ending circle of unproductive and negative thoughts.

    We’ll get there!

    Cheers and good luck guys!

    pendul7
    Participant
    Post count: 280

    Weekly update

    Time for the update! I’ve already told a lot but still, I like my weekly update so I stick to it even if I don’t have much to say.

    Since my update on Friday and my need to externalize a bit of frustration, I took 3 full days off from any poker related stuff. An old friend came in town for the week-end. So let’s say it was still a very good timing. And it was really nice to see him and many other friends I had not seen in a while. He practices meditation a lot and it was great to talk and share experiences about it.

    I’ve tried recently to go for slightly longer meditation sessions here and there. Now, I’m doing 20 minutes every day and yesterday I went for a first 40 minutes session, which was nice but much needed because I had too much in my mind. I’ll try one hour soon.

    As for the rest, I now better understand my motivation for poker and the triggers around my mental weaknesses. At the end, I love the game and the competition, and more than playing to win money (which would give me the freedom to play more), I want to prove myself that I can beat the game. Until now, it’s the biggest challenge I’ve ever had, by far, and that’s because you can’t control everything. But it’s only an additional proof it’s the right challenge for me. There’s so much to get from this experience.

    I won’t have much time this week either but I’ll try to get at least two study sessions and two grinding sessions.

    Cheers and good luck everyone!

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